SELF-ESTEEM; SELF-LOVE

Ronald Cox • August 29, 2020

What does the Bible Say?


Romans 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly [seriously], according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

In our society today people are saying …

  • I need to feel good about myself.
  • I must gain a sense of personal value and worth.
  • I must fight low self-esteem.
  • I need to drop everything and focus on my sobriety.
  • My problem is that I do not love myself enough.
  • I’m just a nobody, and I can’t do anything right. I will always be a failure.
All the above statements are self-focused and selfish. We must think soberly about ourselves with our focus on God.

Doesn’t God want me to love myself? I have heard others say that before we can love others, we need to love ourselves. The bible and Jesus take it for granted that we love ourselves too much already. Nowhere in the bible are we commanded to love ourselves. Notice the following verse that is often misquoted or misunderstood:

Matthew 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

The worldly reasoning goes that if you must love your neighbor as yourself, then you need to love yourself a lot. However, the emphasis is not on loving self; it is on loving your neighbor. There is no command here to love yourself. Jesus never teaches us to love ourselves. He takes it for granted that we love ourselves, as we are born selfish sinners.

In fact, the Apostle Paul warned us against loving ourselves:

2 Timothy 3:1-2 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy…

I must think soberly [seriously]. I must not become proud and haughty. I also must not pity “poor me”. I must see myself soberly as God sees me. All of my worth and value is in my Savior Jesus Christ. Because I have believed on Him, I am His child. I am a child of the King, and I am His ambassador to a sick and dying world. I am to love God; love others, and let God take care of me. When I put myself first, then I am not acting like a child of the King or His ambassador. Also, when I put myself first then follows covetousness and a host of other sins.
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