Choosing Friends

Choosing Friends by the Word of God

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” — Proverbs 13:20

Friendship is never spiritually neutral. The people we walk with shape our Christian life. To “walk” with someone is to share direction, habits, counsel, and influence. If the path is wise, it helps form wisdom in us. If the path is foolish, it brings destruction. You can be friendly and kind to all people, but show discernment in choosing friends.

Who Should I Make Friends With?

Make friends with those who help you grow nearer to the Lord. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” He helps make your soul sharper

Make friends with faithful people. “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). This does not mean a friend excuses sin or flatters wrongdoing. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” A faithful friend may sometimes say what is hard to hear, but he says it for your good.

Make friends with those who will build you up in love and good works. Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.” The best friendships stir you up.

Who Should I Be Careful About?

We are called to love our neighbors and show kindness. But Scripture does warn us not to be friends with people who pull us away from God. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”

Don’t be a close friend of the person who fears not God, excuses sin and hates reproof. Proverbs 13:20 says the companion of fools “shall be destroyed.” That person can ruin your life.

Be careful about angry and contentious people. Proverbs 22:24–25 says, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” Anger is contagious.

Be careful about gossip and division. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” Some people bond through complaint, suspicion, and secrets. Godly friendship guards reputations, pursues peace, and refuses gossip.

Note: It would be better to have few friends, than to have angry, contentious, gossiping friends who fear not God.

How Do I Choose Wisely?

First, does this friendship help me walk with wise people or with fools? Second, does this person encourage my walk with God? Third, am I becoming more like Christ through this closeness, or am I becoming careless with sin? These questions help us practice discernment. We can show kindness to everyone while still choosing our closest companions carefully.

Also remember that friendship is not only about finding the right people; it is about becoming the right kind of person. Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.” If you desire faithful friends, practice faithfulness. If you desire wise friends, seek wisdom. If you desire honest friends, speak truth in love. If you desire prayerful friends, become a person of prayer. Godly friendship is both a gift to receive and a calling to live.